So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
