Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
