I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
