it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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