I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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