Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
