So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
