I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
