i wish starbucks made bloody marys
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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