im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
