we're blogging at a bar
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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