my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize