ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
