yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
