Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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