Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
