I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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