Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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