is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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