nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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