you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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