he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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