What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
