Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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