mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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