she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
