They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
