the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
where am i from again
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
