U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
