I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
