I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
There's always time for handjobs
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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