I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
