Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
