What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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