well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize