My nipple is on Facebook.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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