Fuck appropriateness.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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