Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
