im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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