Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
