Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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