guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
