We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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