I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize