You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
