Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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