This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Randomize
