Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
