I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize