if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
