Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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