fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
