I think my fart just growled at me.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
