if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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