Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
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