I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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