she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
