I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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