So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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