Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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