I hope mine doesn't look like that
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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