Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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