You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
