I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
