he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
