It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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