sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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