was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
